A great percentage of our population don’t prepare for the inevitable – their eventual death – and typically leave a mess behind for others to sort out. When someone dies relatives or friends are tasked with the unenviable task of preparing a funeral/memorial service, including speeches about the dearly departed. Oftentimes a deceased person’s professional life isn’t widely known by others, and speech-makers have a difficult time of finding relevant information, and filling gaps in a person’s work history. A person who wants their work life mentioned at their funeral (if they have one), could usefully add their CV to their folder of Clarifying My Intentions documentation, so relatives can easily find it, when needed.
Author: Sue Dwan
A recent discovery, and one I recommend, is the ebook ‘There’s a Part of Me…’ by J. Schwartz and B. Brennan (© 2013 Trailheads Publications). The authors posit we are all made up of different parts, that together, form our basic nature and personality; and our ‘thinking’ is conversations between our different parts. When our different parts want different things for us, that can lead to inner confusion, conflict and so on. The authors offer an effective way to identify then listen to our parts, and act on our findings. If you ever hear yourself say “there’s a part of me that wants to do X, but another part of me wants to do Y”, and you can’t move forward with clarity and confidence, this book may help. See The Centre for Self Leadership, Illinois, USA. http://www.selfleadership.org/
Changing our personal behaviours isn’t an easy or fast process. In 1977 James Prochaska and Carlo Clemente developed a Transtheoretical Model of Change which shows the different stages we progress through: Pre-contemplation (we realise our behaviour may be problematic but we’re considering the impact of our actions; we’re not ready to do too much about it); Preparation (we have the intention to do something about specific behaviours); Action (we deliberately take steps; we change old behaviours); Maintenance (we have our new behaviours embedded; we work to avoid slipping back to old behaviours); and Termination (we know we won’t revert back to old behaviours).
The researchers saw relapsing back into old behaviours wasn’t a stage in itself but more a return from action or maintenance mode to earlier stages. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transtheoretical_model
Personal change takes time. We may be in the different stages for different periods of time. We can’t be forced to change – it is entirely our choice to do so.
According to PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP (PwC), coaching is now an approximately $2.356 billion USD industry worldwide with 53,300 professional practitioners. This is stated in new data released in the 2016 International Coach Federation (ICF) Global Coaching Study. The study revealed: 75.2% of professional coaches are female, compared to the global average of 67%; NZ coaches typically have more experience than their overseas counterparts (37.6% having coached for more than 10 years, versus 26.9% globally; and almost 70% of Kiwi coach practitioners identified business coaching as their main speciality area. To read more, see http://www.voxy.co.nz/business/5/267179. It’s well worth reading.
Carl Davidson (29/02/2016, The Press) suggests interruption science explains the difficulties in getting things done. It’s a great article and well worth reading.
It’s time to have the conversation you may have put off for too long! Saturday 16 April 2016 is the national Conversations that Count Day – a time to think about advance care planning – for your future and your end of life care. It is the ideal time to think about yourself and your loved ones. Go for it. www.conversationsthatcount.org.nz
I agree wholeheartedly with Douglas Lang’s comments in his Looking for fair and balanced (leadership) reporting article in the December 2015 edition of NZ Management magazine. The style of extroverted leaders is widely extolled whereas the styles of introverted leaders hardly rates a mention. The limiting and inappropriate ‘this opposed to that’ style needs to be reconsidered, so that equal value is placed on the management and leadership styles of introverts and extroverts alike. The article can be purchased online at: http://www.management.co.nz/issues/management-december-2015
The Ripenists is a new resource targeted at smart, self-aware midlife women who want to make the second half of their life filled with zest and zing. It’s about positive, vibrant aging, and people reaching their full potential. It’s filled with interesting, engaging articles and reflections, all well worth reading and then going back for more . See www.theripenists.com for details.
Mary Oliver once said “And now I understand something so frightening, and wonderful – how the mind clings to the road it knows, rushing through crossroads, sticking like lint to the familiar”. (izquotes.com). She’s captured in such a succinct way, how we effortlessly run on automatic pilot, repeatedly doing what we always do, without really thinking about it. Yet if we always do what we’ve always done, we will always get what we’ve always got. If we want to make changes in our working and personal worlds, we need to know our habits and patterns; know how they work for us or against us; and look beyond the familiar and the comfortable, to what might be possible, if we slowed down when faced with life’s crossroads, and allowed ourselves to consider alternative beliefs and different routes.
They’re used relentlessly, as this recent article in the Daily Mail (UK) reveals: